Living Vicariously Through You: Sex and the Strange

I did a lot of reading yesterday. My adventure in sex blogs started as I stumbled upon a post in which a young woman explained her job working for a New York City madam. I was predictably sucked into her story, and the conclusion’s subsequent, “If you liked that story, try this one.” Blog after blog was looked at in detail. Photography; pleasantly erotic and equally concerning. Real life issues; captivating and surprisingly relatable. Opinions; eye-opening and frustrating. Hypothetical predicaments; scary and scarier.

I was intrigued by the amount of people on the internet who openly discuss sex. You read correct, I was… surprised. Young, college students who by all American standards are normal, but have very bold outlooks on how their sex life is supposed to go. I was only thrown-off because I never used the internet to look up this type of relationship advice, I just… trucked through it using my own erratic thought processes or, as I like to call them, “alone-in-my-head-too-long-fueled-decisions.” There is a separate world of blogging out there where young people come together to share their fears about not finding the right sexual partner or fulfilling their fantasies, but moreover, blogs on like-communities of taboo fetish groups.

This was not pornography, these were entire sites constructed by people, women and men my age who treat their sexual happiness as a top priority, who write freely about the subject matters my friends and I discuss three cocktails deep behind closed doors.

The more I read on these relationship and sex blogs, the tighter grip I got on the idea of what sex was like around the world. I was never too sure, naïve or blinded by America’s own sexual culture, to realize that people my age all really want the same thing, pleasure. Some just go about it differently.

Forgive my semi-intrusive research, but considering America is crazy lax on discretion, I plead the first!

What my serious search engine skills and all-around nosiness uncovered as America’s top 3 fetishes:

1. Masochism. It is definitely safe to say that this one earns the number one spot. Not only do I know oodles of girl friends that love a nice slap or two (gently), but throughout all the research I did on fetishes, this seemed to be the most accepted among long-standing partners as well as one-night stands. Hey, as long as nothing gets out of hand, to each his own.

2. Odaxelagnia. Similar to masochism but deserving a separate title in its own right, odaxelagnia is the pleasure one gets from biting, or being bit. Such a fetish can be seen in role-playing environments revolved around vampires (pretend vampires, people). Although the arousal of blood (sucking blood, watching blood flow) has its own term, hematolagnia, the increase in odaxelganists has put it on CBS News’ Top 15 Strangest Fetishes lists. How about #1 for most dangerous, unhealthy and quickest way to contract an STD list? Am I buzz-killing you? All apologies.

3. Dacryphilia. I came across so much on this fetish that I was seriously in awe. Dacryphilia is a fetish that requires sobbing tears, breathless crying, and heavy sadness to be turned on. I even read forums where people discussed their inability to withhold sexual arousal at wakes and funerals. This is one of those fetishes I really did not know existed. But as I read in a blog affiliated with this topic, a fetish can really come from anywhere- there are no guidelines for developing one.

*Runner up: Ursusagalmatophilia. I tried for pronounce it but gave up. Basically, this is a fetish commonly, and more simply referred to as “plushies” or “furries.” This is when a person dresses up in a costume (head to toe) as an animal and not only engage in sexual relations with another furry, but will go about daily activities, too. There are a ton of online communities, some dating sites and plenty of conventions in which plushies can share their taboo love of a big furry suit.

International sex fetish fact: In the Harajuku neighborhood of Tokyo, Japan, it is normal for a young woman to turn a man on sexually by wrapping her head, arms or legs in bandages. This seems like an adult modification on the innocent “doctor” role play we all took part in as children, minus seduction and, well, penetration. This fetish has since dubbed the name, “Injured Idol.” There is something sexy about the idea of being rescued. Who can argue that? Rock on Harajuku girls.

5 Facts on Sex Across the Big Bad World:

1. The Ila people of Africa [Southern Zambia] encourage their children to partake in sexual intercourse. They take pride in claiming that no one over 10 years-old is a virgin.

2. 70 percent of civilized societies permit polygamous relationships, or the act of one husband having two or more wives.

3. In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sexual intercourse with animals, as long as those animals are female.

4. In the rural town of Cali, Colombia, a woman is only allowed to have sex with her husband. The first time they do it, the female’s mother must be present to witness it all going down.

5. In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, a bill passed that would make it illegal for a man and a woman (not even his wife, just any woman) and her daughter to engage in sexual intercourse at the same time. True story.


So whether we agree with any of the above aforementioned, we should accept that the world is crazier than we think; crazy in a good way, a more provocative way, a stupid way. I commend the young men and women that head to blog sites to talk about their adventures in sex. We all have demanding thoughts, confusion, curiosity, the want to try to enjoy these things, too- maybe. We are Commander-in-Chief of our bodies, and as long as we remember at the end of the day to do right by them, go ahead and indulge in the weird and wild.

Actually, Eddie, you’re a hematolagnia paraphilic.

34 thoughts on “Living Vicariously Through You: Sex and the Strange

  1. Love love love this! Love your fetish features..You totally just inspired me to start doing doing Fetish Fridays again on SexyTofu.

    I never would have thought of Dacryphilia as a top fetish, loved learning about it. I think two more top fetishes are Narratophilia (dirty talk) and hypoxyphilia (asphyxiation). I did those as Fetish Fridays!

    I also love the furries! Haha. Have you ever looked into Looning? Just as interesting. Great post! Hope to see you get sexy on here more often.

    • I guess I just assumed that autoerotic asphyxiation was a part of masochism… a subset of some kind. Please start up with those freaky Friday posts. Also I had no idea that narratophilia was a word… I just thought that was all normal! Oops. Love you baby girl thanks for reading:)

      • Hahah what is “normal” anyway? I think mild dirty talk is standard but when you are really really REALLY into it…well then it crosses into the world of the fetish.

  2. Gotta run now…but definitely bookmarking and coming back to this.😉 I was actually approached once to publish a book about my “sexual” escapades by a guy behind the book “The Devil Wears Prada.” But yeah…ummmm. Wasn’t ready for the WORLD to view my “fun times.” LOL

  3. Good reading as always Sarah! I had no idea about some of this stuff, Especially those crazy sex facts. Who would have thought right? I also can’t picture “furries”, what a strange fetish.. but I guess whatever floats your boat, everyone is different!

    • Mike! Everyone sure is different. I can’t remember if it was a True Life or Strange Sex episode I watched where people were addicted to being “furries” and their parents and friends couldn’t get them to stop no matter what. I imagine it’s too hot in San Diego to put one of those bad boys on!

  4. Funny and coincidental. I recently got a new subscriber on my blog and when I clicked to read theirs, I unexpectedly stumbled into an endless amount of this content. I haven’t researched to the extent you have but it was definitely an eye opener. Blogs like that are like potato chips, you can’t read just one.

  5. Considering the 50 Shades of Grey mania, this was a timely and interesting post. I admit disappointment when authors unrealistically portray female orgasm. Seriously? Young woman are supposed to think they can get off by nipple play and intercourse alone? Perhaps the bloggers so intent on their own pleasure really have no idea how to achieve it. Just a thought…I haven’t read the blogs to which you refer, nor the entire Shades of Grey trilogy.

  6. Wow Sarah this is an awesome post! I read it on my (very old) iPhone this morning, and couldn’t wait to get to a proper internet connection to leave a reply! Dacryphilia and Ursusagalmatophilia were the most interesting to read, while Masochism was no surprise–because, like you, I know a few who enjoy a little roughness in the sack!

  7. Pingback: Fetish Friday: Algolagnia (Pain Fetish) « Sexy Tofu

  8. As you know because you have read my blog, which I am sure you have referred back to sex is a crazy thing and of course I think it is a wonderful and beautiful thing. You can learn a lot about a person, a culture through sex. Great job on the research and the writing.

  9. Crap! I love to dress up in large fluffy animal costumes… AND, biting, AND getting slapped… but, I know I am in the minority… my church isn’t for everyone! Oh, Father Bunny Hop McSlapperon… you are a genius ahead of your time!

    Funny post. You are a pretty funny chick. Keep ’em coming!

  10. What a great post! Yeah I’ve noticed the same thing – but being a little bit prudish I stop reading after a certain point if it gets too explicit. Imagine all those names for stuff! I think maybe the US is one of the most sophisticated societies when it comes to sex though – other societies (eg African) may do it young and often, but they don’t go in so much for fetishes, whereas in the US and other very developed countries, we seem to have got bored with the straight kind of sex and be seeking out more and more odd corners to explore.

  11. Pingback: Guest Post: Embrace Your Sexuality and Do These Don’ts « Sexy Tofu

  12. Yep, and I just read a study from University of Michigan that says that sexting is basically normal and may even be a part of a healthy sexual relationship. Clearly, these guys don’t spend a lot of time with naked 59 year-olds.

  13. read my work you’ll see that i have precious little time for derivation………doing your own thing is way more fun…………..the rest i just make up as i go. thx for coming by jwest hardin novels…jwest hardin road trip…bangkok living & travel. live in creation babe…..the world is waiting

  14. I was once literally begged by an art student to let her cut a drawing into my back with a razor blade. She told me that blood drove her crazy. She even went as far as showing me the design she’s come up with to cover my entire back. I’d like to think of myself as open-minded, especially back then, but come on!

    • No way! That’s crazy… and it’s also asking a lot of you. This comment actually really inspired me to consider doing a follow-up piece on my original post. Surely there are other sexual taboos I could talk about. Thanks so much for stopping by!

      • Oh there are lots, but be careful not to get too close to that fire. Once you’ve ventured into the shadows you might like it too much and be unable to make it back out into the light! Mwahaha!!! Just kidding mate. Have a good weekend ¶:-)

  15. Pingback: 5 Things I’ve Been Doing Besides Blogging | sarah on the go!

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