A Tasteful Take on How to Own Your Sexiness: New Year Edition

There’s a difference between embracing the true sexual nature of your being and just acting like your private parts are a 24/7 convenience store. The former speaks volumes about our personalities, positively. When a man or woman owns their body and swagger, it comes across natural, confident and beautiful… traits which are desirable for the right reasons.

Unfortunately, in these days, it is fairly easy to spot people who try too hard to be overly sexual. Those people should know as much as you and I that depth of sexuality is something you get from loving yourself and being open to change. While rampant promiscuity will get you some labels, sexy isn’t one of them.

So aside from losing weight and aspiring to get a better job in 2014, I suggest you try what I like to call “sub-resolutions.” In time, all will help you develop a healthier, sexier self image which will subsequently improve your love life.

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Learn the art of pleasuring thy self

There are three types of people: those who openly admit they masturbate, those who claim they never do it, and those who lie about. Not everyone is comfortable discussing such things, and that’s okay. But knowing that it’s completely normal to want to do it is a good first step. Nothing brings you deeper into your mind and thoughts than the power of personal touch. You know what you like and you know what makes you feel best. You don’t have to instruct anyone on how to do it, when to do it or where to do it. So why do so many women claim they never please themselves? Unless it’s something in your personal beliefs, there’s no reason not to explore yourself.

It’s your beautiful body and it holds so much potential for pleasure, and not just on a physical level. Sometimes it’s important to try to get yourself to that place by using just the power of your mind- no computer images or videos. When you learn to work yourself to the max, only then can someone else hold a light to what you already know you can accomplish on your own.

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Initiate romance

I personally feel that most women rely on their man to bring home flowers, take them out on a great date or even begin the bedtime fun. Obviously I can’t speak for all ladies, but it’s time to turn the tables and be the dominant one in the relationship if only for the night. Women and men both love to have a certain security in a relationship; physical, financial and emotional. If you find yourself the submissive member in the relationship, think how fun it would be to surprise your partner with something out of the ordinary.

Cook a meal or make a reservation, give a back massage followed by sex that you started. Breaking out of the shell of expectations and surprise yourself and your partner with something new and exciting. Maybe you will be showing your other half how invested you are in them, but all the while you are also building your self-worth. You are proving to yourself that you can hold it down for a night with seemingly no effort. I can promise that a whole lot of sexiness will come from just cooking a good steak dinner.

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Embrace your sexual preferences

If you’re all there in the head (there are laws!) then go ahead and do that crazy, freak-nasty thing you saw on some website. Just because it’s porn or it’s online doesn’t make you some exception to the rule. You can do it, too. Have fun with the one you feel secure trying new things with. If you realize afterward that it’s more fun to just watch complete strangers do on the internet, you never have to do it again!  There’s no shame it exploring the capacity of your sexuality. Most of the time your partner will be willing to try it, especially if he or she knows you find pleasure in it. This sub-resolution especially applies to the women and men out there who are suffering from boring sex behind closed doors. If you’re not having sex in general, I’m not sure whips and chains will improve that. But if you are getting a little tired of the vanilla and want some Neapolitan, then go buy that ceiling harness you’ve fantasized about for a year… or maybe take it down 10 notches with some whipped cream. Not you or your partner should ever try to exceed boundaries, which is why you should do these things with someone you are comfortable with. When you are in control of the concept of how you deserve to physically feel, you graduate to a new level of sexy.

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Sex yourself up

Without running the risk of attributing this particular “sub-resolution” to every synonym for classless, I must state that it’s absolutely acceptable to take a walk on the wild side with the vocab you use about yourself and how you want to be. Sexing yourself up means you are going to put on the outfit in your closet that makes you feel beautiful- whether it’s jeans and your favorite t-shirt with a red lip and some heels, or guys, if it’s that v-neck that shows the chest hair you’re always complaining about… embrace it.

Girls in short skirts and low-cut tops are fun to ogle at for time, but let’s be real for a moment. There’s been an average low of minus freeze-your-face-off-just-getting-the-mail lately. Those outfits don’t cut it in the winter, and in general, it’s kind of boring to see nowadays. Take all of your awesome personality and transform into a physical art form, expression through style. How you work what you wear, your hair, your smell, your walk… that moves mountains over a short skirt and ditzy personality. If you feel like you are the definition of what a supermodel should be, people will believe it, but most importantly… you fucking believe it. See how far it goes. Confidence is everything. 

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Beauty Coast to Coast

As a 24 year-old with an extremely open mind to culture, I see the lifestyles that make up America differently than that of a 64 year-old, and moreover, other states and of course, other countries. I was thinking long and hard about making some plans to head West for my college Spring Break; California, Nevada, Southwest to Arizona or New Mexico. I want to see Silicone Valley, waste hard-earned money at Blackjack in Vegas, and party endlessly at Lake Havasu City. I always want to learn more everywhere else, but what do I know about my own country? As I sat on TripAdvisor, two glasses of wine deep, I decided to make a list of all the things I see America to be.

We often stereotype or make general assumptions about cultures across the globe with little to no information to back up those speculations other than what is portrayed in movies and in the news. However, I know America, or at least the majority of what goes on here; what is socially acceptable, popular, and the freedoms which allow its citizens to do as they please. I watch television, read newspapers and magazines, dress scantily clad when I feel it is appropriate and speak my mind when something is bothering me. I enjoy sex-scenes in movies, coming and going on a whim, writing freely about love, hate; writing freely about anythingI live American culture every day. I wanted to investigate that less-thought about matter in my brain- my own culture which entitles me to enjoy such things.

I quickly realized upon my so-called deep thinking process that the most prominent staple in our culture is sex and money. American youth culture for myself is inherently related to those subsets of image and beauty. With no apologies on my part, I love it and I buy it every day. Sex is in our classrooms, our workplace, our downtime and our nights out. Turn your head in a lecture hall of 300 students and you are bound to find one young girl who is reapplying her lipgloss and patting her face with unnecessary amounts of bronzer. Try to get on a treadmill at 5 p.m. at the gym and it is impossible. Sex is there, too. The effort we put into our appearance is the product of sex that has been sold to us over time, with billions of dollars spent to feed us the expectations of beauty.

Skinny and pretty, what a surprise!

I know that I am far from perfect, but seeing someone fake the American idea of a perfect face with Photoshop and three tons of makeup is an awesome thing. There is nothing like glaring through the glossy pages of magazines at the rail-thin models selling me absolutely nothing. I cannot afford a button on that Versace blouse, but I will continue to buy Vogue to see more. Hell, even if I could afford anything advertised so sexually invigorating in Vanity Fair, I would use that money for three separate plane tickets to places I have never been. Not to mention, I cannot be that thin. I love the carbohydrates and calories of my father’s homemade Chicken Cacciatore too much. 

In the morning when I am light-years away from anything Karl Lagerfeld would allow on his runway, I can read the New York Times bash politicians because they are entitled to that right as an American. At the end of the day when my makeup is off and my heels are back in the closet, I can cozy up to Time Magazine and read about the places in the world that I know do not allow the freedoms I previously enjoyed just hours prior, some as simple as hanging out with my friends until 2 a.m. Maybe our culture is dominated with sex, but we are given the most fantastic right to choose what to do with it. With all the freedoms of this country, I know not to allow myself to be brainwashed by one simple idea.

Home, Sweet Home!