List Making is the New Black

Lately I’ve been wondering about what I contribute to the world. On any given day, I offer nothing major to the grand scheme of things.

I recycle, I give oodles of love to my dog, I try my hand at advice-giving when my friends need it. Sure, these things matter in their own way, but I am at a point in my life where I need to jump into something wholly for myself. I was feeling a bit off last week and spent a good hour searching the web for whatever came to my mind. Initially, I started out ogling photos of happy people on nice beaches, “fitspo,” inspirational quotes… all that Tumblr stuff that is cool to look at but makes you feel shitty afterwards.

I found this website called Tiny Buddha. I can not explain my love for this page in words, so if you care to know, head over there and do a little perusing. To make a long story short, there are contributing writers who share deep stories and real inspiration: many of which had non-motivated lives prior to an epiphany or awakening of some sort.

James McMurphy had the most powerful post of all. 6 Powerful Questions That Will Change Your Life Forever got me thinking on an entirely level, delving deeper into my true self interests. I set aside all the people, things and situations that consume me presently to focus on what  exactly that I want to do in this life. So I started taking notes, and the notes gave birth to tinier notes, side notes, notes that were taking up every inch of my notebook. My free write was so free-flowing that it turned into lists: what have I accomplished, what do I want to accomplish, what would I do with a million dollars?

His first question was all I really needed to ask myself. What do I absolutely love in life?

Animals. I love them all equally, but when my dog got sick last month, I felt an intense desire to help them, but how? Do I have it in me to go to veterinary school, especially after years of college in a completely different field? Could I see animals die in front of me? Could I put them down? What are my alternatives?

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MusicI am the most happy when I attend a concert, or live a weekend at a festival. The energy, the people. Being immersed in music is something I want to be a part of always. Luckily, I have the right degree and the passion. However, trying to land a job working for a big-name festival seems impossible. The best part of a gig like that? It’d get me out of Connecticut.

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TravelMy truest passion is reading about culture and experiencing new places. More than anything in this world, I need to get out in the world; I want to eat creepy delicious food and learn a new language. I thought about Habitat for Humanity, but what I’m really looking for is the opportunity to finally get free and explore beyond The United States. What are my options? Serious question.

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One of my favorite people to follow on Instagram is a model of sorts… who isn’t on Instagram? Anyway, she just went from Machu Picchu in Peru (my ultimate go-to destination), to Easter Island to Iceland. I mean, really? Looking at stuff like that just makes me sad, because I have no idea how people make it work.

If I have learned anything in the past 26 years of growing up and molding into a functioning human with interests and opinions, it’s that I know nothing at all. The only way I could really feel fulfilled, I believe, is if I can understand more about culture by way of my own two feet and my own two eyes.

I must admit, however, list-making the other day was fun. I learned a lot about myself through that process alone. I was able to look back at my notes and generalize the type of person I think I am, and what I really want for myself. But until I resurrect those notes into action, that’s really all they are, a scribble of words of things I dream to become.

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