Putting the “Ass” in Assumptions

I have this blog so I can free my mind and write. I know it is a public site; I understand that anyone and their twice-removed cousin living in some rural area of Istanbul can access this page with a strong enough WiFi connection. However, I am old enough to know what I post on this website and knowingly put up content to which I am comfortable with. Spare me the “future employers will see that” lecture.

This is a list I conjured up after stirring up a conversation on assumptions in my head. I was thinking about what people assume about myself and others the most and wanted to address it, either for your entertainment pleasure or because you can relate. I feel a handful of you out there in the Cyber World can relate.

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Social Networking Assumptions

Twitter and Facebook are fun for us computer savvy folk. We are social network butterflies and proud of it. This is how we connect with people far and wide. We use Twitter on the regular to keep in touch with our Twitter-friends across the globe on television, movies and pop culture.

Twitter is a wonderful thing. I have been able to promote my blog and my opinions, all the while getting breaking news faster than any other method. I also continuously gain valuable knowledge on what young people think about the upcoming U.S. presidential election, and hot-button topics on one streaming newsfeed. Just because I tweet every day does not mean I have nothing better to do.

The same goes for Facebook. I am out and about as much as my wallet allows me. I love to check-in and post photo albums on Facebook. To me, that is the purpose of it: to share our experiences in the world while keeping in touch with others.

10k Tweets in 2 years and a check-in at Babeland? The madness!

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Personality Assumptions

“You’re a hippie, aren’t you supposed to love everyone?”

First and foremost, I am not a hippie. I listen to the Grateful Dead, walk barefoot at music festivals and pay attentions to politics (and will likely argue them); I also wear makeup, heels, and blast hip-hop when the mood strikes. This is not 1972 and those days are long gone. But moreover, what I first thought when I heard this was, hippies didn’t love everyone, they disliked a lot of people in power and those whose ideas were not the same as theirs. Nice try.

Do hippies shop at Forever 21? (Little black dress, $14.90 in stores)

Most of us do our best to find the good in everyone we meet, and generally get along well with anyone. We always give the benefit of the doubt, find the good in people and don’t judge those who we do not know. On the flipside, we are entitled to form my own opinions. If someone rightfully pisses us off, well then, we rightfully do not have to like them; especially if we will more or less never see them again.

Rebuting with “well, I love everyone” makes you look like an asshole, and I cannot except that as a valid rebutal to why you made me feel like shit for disliking your friend.

We are all only human after all.

One extreme to another, and it’s all good!

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Image Assumptions

If you want to post a photo of yourself looking sexy than do it. You are not naked, your fingers are not strategically placed in your mouth and you aren’t in some compromising position. You would even consider showing your parents, so to have them choose the best one.

The same goes for real life. Strap on those heels and walk like you were born in them. People will stare. I get it all the time with my tattoos. For instance, on the subway on Thursday there was an older lady (mid 40’s) staring at all of my tattoos- one by one- with a that look. I know what she was thinking, “but her wedding dress, her children, her… career.”

I would shoot her a blank look and she would turn away just to start again.

So I said, “Hey, Zoe, let’s take a picture on the Subway like I’ve never been on one before.”

Confidence is the key to happiness. A long while it took me to understand that they are correlated in a major way, but I get it now. It clicked. So what, you are all dressed up in a nice dress. Does this automatically mean you have daddy issues and/or are looking for all the boys in the yard to holler at you? Flaunt what you have, girls. In five, ten, twenty years… you may not have that body anymore. Just saying.

One of my first social network default pictures; Myspace circa 2004 entitled, “The Original Duck-Face Mirror Shot”