I am not sure how you are feeling about this holiday season so far, but I have yet to get in the mood for it. Maybe finals week and the stress of finding the perfect gifts while just sitting on my ass has been keeping me from feeling jolly. Get up, Sarah! I mean, by now I should have made at least three batches of holiday cookies; gingerbread men, sugar cut-outs and maybe even some kind of pie. Oh, yeah, I love to bake. Well, upon chatting with some lovely lady (and fantastically gay) friends of mine, I realized I am not the only one who is Scroogin’ it up. While I have been bitchin’ and moanin’ about my lack of baked goods, they have been sulking (respectably so) about being alone during what is supposed to be the most cheerful and loving time of the year. While I adore this holiday because of its flashiness, nostalgia, baked ham, shrimp cocktail and copious assortments of alcohol, I might be mean to Christmas in this post.————————————— There is nothing that could break up the freezing temperatures and back-breaking snow shoveling quite like a holiday that requires a month of celebration. But just like the number one craptastic holiday, Valentine’s Day, it is hard for those who do not have a significant other. I empathize and understand the dejection of the lonely around this time of year. There is no hiding from the nauseating smooches of couples in public, unrealistic Kay Jewelers commercials and sappy Christmas tunes. With all do respect to those who are happy in their white Christmas comas, I want to address those who are trying to cope and find ways to make it through this ‘joyous‘ season without breaking out one tear. I will only accept tears from you single ladies and gents if you are listening to Christmas Shoes. That song should be illegal. Hey, as much as I appreciate baby Jesus’ birthday, we should all just face the fact that summer is actually the best time of the year. No holiday needed
1. It’s almost over
Sure, it is only December 8th and there are still 17 pieces of chocolate (aka daily reminders of your loneliness) in that Advent Calender. Not even Amazon or eBay have rush delivery options yet. Breathe, you can still order at your leisure and have your gifts shipped before Christmas morn. Think about it, though. You really only have to deal with it for so much longer. When the dead of winter sets in on the second day of January, you can set up a ton of goals for yourself in light of the new year. Look at your calendar. Hunny, you are booked! You are in the midst of finishing the semester and have yet to sign up for classes. Oh did I mention, you work! That will pass the time. You are also expected to attend holiday parties, maybe host your own party, or visit family. Your life does not stop, and it most certainly should not in order to sit and feel sorry for yourself, or worse, to dwell on some noxious past relationship. Above all else, I please ask that you use the abundance of sales as an excuse to shop for yourself. Time flies. We know this by now. Stay busy with the things that make you happy- like baking! Find holiday cheer by doing positive holiday related activities; plan a trip to Rockefeller Center with friends or cut down your own Christmas tree. The possibilities really are endless. You will be surprised at the healing power of a good hobby.
2. You have 365 days to find love for next year
When the annual monotony of Christmas Eve passes (exchanging the gifts, cuddling by a fire, blah blah), you will officially have a year to take your brain and shake it back to complete sense. I definitely do not condone going out of your way to search for anyone. No one should ever, under any circumstances go out looking for a boy or girlfriend. But you are young and you have been dating around anyway. The likelihood that you will find someone within the next year that has long-term potential is more probable than not. The only thing that I really feel is stopping you from running into a great, new and exciting significant other before the next holiday season is December 12, 2012. Let it happen and go with the flow. Take chances personally and give chances to potential companions. Have fun doing it, too. When you are out in the battlefield (social situations) mingle with someone you think is cute, buy a girl a drink (please, fellas, let’s start this trend up again) give someone a shot in the dark. Take your time. You never need anyone, you just merely would enjoy their company in your life. When you are simply going through the motions, as soon as you least expect it and when you are being yourself, someone fabulous will come along. I know it!
3. If they liked it then they should have put a ring on it
Metaphorically speaking, I am referring to the always deep and philosophical Beyoncé. When it comes down to this particular line of the song, she has a point (but stop there). Whether you are alone this holiday on account of the ex’s poor decision-making skills, chances are you are so much better off. This is where you can get mean. He or she let you go. Go on and get sassy. Oh, HELL no! You know you’re wifey/hubby material, you know your best qualities and characteristics, you know you are a sexy bitch. When (and if) they ever really “liked it” they should have kept you around. When one side of the relationship does not know your worth, it may take a hot minute to realize that there is nothing to cry over. We get wrapped up in the good times and forget about the stresses. Try not to linger around these issues, but do realize that you once upon a time you belonged to them, and they let you go foolishly. Use the test of Christmas to prove to yourself (and no one else) that you are strong enough to walk through broken ornaments, snow without shoes, Christmas without a lover. And hell, once you get through this holiday (and you will) you will forever be okay.
4. New Years Eve will clean up the mess
If anything screams, “I’m happy, independent and ready to let loose,” it is for sure a killer New Years Eve party. Make your plans now. Not only will it tie in with #1, but it will make you realize how far from alone you really are. Your friends are probably just as clueless about New Years plans as you have been. Get the ball rolling. I have realized that when you try to make plans for something a wee bit more serious than happy hour, things tend to fall through. Stay persistent. Come up with three or four ideas on how to spend the biggest party night of the year. Send a group Facebook or text message to your besties as to make sure they are all on the same page. If you are in the Tri-State, New England area then try Mohegan Sun. My personal eighth wonder of the world hosts a great New Years Eve party. They had Cirque De Soleil type gymnasts hanging from the rafters above the bar one year. There are a ton of sexy people, drinks flowing, and nonstop movement. You will love it. While rooms may have been long sold out, there are hotels in the area. Or you can keep it simple with a house party (nothing too crazy) or head on over to the city. Being with your close friends to ring in the New Year is exactly what you need after wading in the irritating holiday cheer for weeks. Buy yourself a pricey little number, even if you are just staying in, or a nice swaggered out suit. You deserve it! Also, take some pictures of yourself. Surely you look too good for your ex anyway. The proof is in the New Years minidress.