Are You Smarter Than a Third Grader?- Relationship Edition
Hear ye! Hear ye! Be blinded by love no more! No matter the relationship type you are in: long-term lover or dating for three weeks, we all have the tendency to act childish. Blame it on that over-worked saying that “love is blind,” but when relationships take a turn for the worse, are you so blinded by what you think is love that you cannot pull yourself away in time, before you are drenched in heartache and thoughts of hate, turning any hope for a friendship in the future completely sour? We may be in the prime of our young adult lives and are expected to make logical decisions- which in time, help us to find a mate that we can settle down and start a family with- but when the tell-tale signs of incompatibility are smacking us in the face, do we turn them away because we think we can change someone?
You cannot change a soul on this Earth. If you try to justify your attempts to change your significant other it makes you weak. Going out of your way to be more of a kickass person than you already are so you can prove to them that you are relationship material is a waste of time. Like drugs and alcohol, you are enabling them to get what they want: emotion, sex, material things, and the comfort in knowing you will be there tomorrow and the day after to do it all again. If they cannot see you for all the greatness that you have to offer a relationship, there is just no use in trying. This will become a sick cycle and only you will be hurt in the end.
So here is the scenario: You are in the third grade again, high-water denim pants, scrunchies, side-ponytails and all. But more importantly, you know what you like and what you do not. Think about it. When mom made you eat brussel sprouts, you threw a fit. Hell to the no you were not about to go on a playdate with little Kelly, she was a bitch at recess and you refuse to go to her stupid house. To top it all off, those rumors that you had a crush on Bobby the Dodgeball King could not be any less true. He always picked you last and would flirt around the playground anyway, never picking any one girl first consecutively for his team- ever! Now if Bobby had made time to play with your Polly Pocket and told you that you were pretty every day, you might like him. So what was all the fuss about? And when the group of cool kids bugged you about it, you told them to shove it. By the way, you preferred the nerdy types anyway, not just whoever gave you attention. Yes, in the third grade you knew why you liked someone. However minute and simple the details, you would not compromise yourself then, so why now? Making decisions and speaking up for the most part was easy.
Eight years old brings the oh-so-missed carelessness of not having responsibilities (or stresses about relationships). However, the best way to associate your past self with your new one is to think of how you would handle that disrespecting, no good boy or girlfriend then. Where did those inhibitions go? If your man is irking you until no end because all he does is watch SportsCenter all day, leaving no room for “couple time”, what would you have done then? Damn right you would have told him. I suggest we all look at relationships, including friendships, this way. If you use the mindset of a third grader when deciding whether or not this relationship is right for your lifestyle and needs, you would be surprised how on target this way of thinking can be. You are only wasting valuable time by lingering in a relationship that is not up to par with your expectations. You, first and foremost, deserve to be happy.
Are you smarter than a third grader when it comes to your personal relationships? You are most likely (hopefully) now capable of making even deeper decisions and can balance action and consequence better than you were 15 or so years ago. But remember that the answer does not always lie so deep down below the surface. Maybe sometimes we use our intelligence too proudly and over-analyze, over-think and make excuses for what has been obvious all along in the eyes of our third grade selves.