Diggin’ a Little Deeper in the Name of Love

There are so many blogs out there! I must say it gets overwhelming to take in all the advice these young guys and gals are throwing my way. Somehow I manage, but end up picking and choosing pieces of each that teach me something; something I can remember later which has the potential to help me in different circumstances.

Well upon reading advice by the masses, I began to generalize what each writer was trying to get across. I started to feel as if I was trapped in the Twilight Zone of blogs, clicking wildly from one to another. Both sexes were rambling on about the same old stuff, what to look for in a partner. Uck. I just wanted to read something vulgar and obscene; a different kind of insight, but I could not take my eyes off the page. I was zoned into the ocean of black words that were infringing on my ability to click the little “X” at the top right of the web browser.

Forgiving, respectful, honest, loving, down-to-earth, smartyeah, those are all key characteristics to have in this life. I wanted to comment on each and every one… “DUH!” Who wouldn’t want to have someone in their life that has all of that? It is like when you are listening to your friend babble about what they look for in a partner.

“Well, they have to be trustworthy and determined. You know, like, they have to be a hard-worker and enjoy their family time. Oh, and they have to be caring,” Friend X says.

Caring as in takes in stray cats to the point where A&E is scoping out their house for the next season of Animal Hoarders? Has so much “respect for themselves” that they need to bless themselves with Holy Water before entering a bar? A sexy outfit is ‘not them’ and taking whiskey shots is demoralizing; only easy girls take shots. God comes first, reading is a must, and “live, laugh, love” is their motto. Fuck. What a good catch.

However, we know those redundant qualities are important to us all, when they are not taken to the extreme, such as above (trust that those people exist), but when that person comes around are you counting the ways in which they are honest about their life story and respectful towards elders? Distinguishing the basics actually takes a bit of time to discover in someone new. What do you first notice aside from his striking blue eyes or her long lean legs? Do they paint to pass the time, write passionately, play a sport, have a knack for interior design or live to travel the country on a dime? Do they enjoy beer festivals and music you never really listen to? These are the characteristics that make a person and they lie right on the surface of the personality. They do not have to try too hard or go out of their comfort zone to let you know they really dig underground hip-hop and have been going to shows in the city for years. 

Using these boyfriend/girlfriend-picking tools are what separates the unique “always keeps me on my toes” type of people from those merely suitable for companionship in all the technical ways. So are those defiant people already taken by others that are equally as cool as them? Maybe. But thinking like that is no bueno for the most part. You will just settle for someone boring and plain. Yeah, I can be a bitch, sorry. Well, I am assuming we all know what it is like to just settle because it feels comfortable. So I will skip over that, because it is identical to beating a dead horse.

A relationship that is going to last a long time are the ones where the two of you have different interests; interests that do not include what the entire general population most likely does on the regular. I mean, reading books and doing puzzles are fantastic little activities to do, I am not knocking either. I participate in both. I am talking about having separate lives that can be rubbed off on each other. You and your lover will never have a dull moment, unless it is in bed together when you are about to fall asleep- and even then, you would not consider it dull.

Wait, you do this every Saturday night?

I know a couple who were completely different from the start. He listens to reggae and makes jewelry and hemp goods by hand for fun, and acquires a small amount of money from it. He is so good at it, too- matching one beautiful stone with another– and doing this all day because he loves it. She owns her own pricey boutique in Fairfield County, none of his stuff was sold there. She loved high heels, lipstick and pop music. He appreciates her for all that she is (which could be a little diva-licious at times). They are two different people, but they love each for all their differences; in hobbies, music, and so on.

So let us rework those overused sought after traits (feel free to find your own): creative, risk-taking, intelligent and cultured, well-read, well-spoken, assertive, dedicated to continually being a better person. Ahh, that sounds so refreshing!

Being taken to a concert where you know two songs and only because your significant other tried to teach you a couple before the show is so much fun. When that night is all said and done, it is your turn to give him a piece of you. For as long as you both remain individuals you will stay together, and more importantly happy together. That is really how I feel. Forget all the classic nonsense we bust our asses trying to find in a person, they are there somewhere and if not, you will find out sure enough.

(best movie ever)

I want more people to use non-generic terms when they vent to me about what they want. You will find yourself falling out of the same routine of “I’m with him/her”… “We broke up.” Apparently their approach to finding someone is not working. I will bet it is because they are either not digging too deep, or digging entirely too deep.

So you are not being picky when you say you want someone who uses their imagination or wears rose-colored glasses. You are breaking down the ever-so-lame character categories that we expect the entire world to be a part of. Do you not want more? You deserve more.

There seems to be proof in the numbers. If there are hundreds, possibly thousands of blogs out there discussing this topic on an ongoing basis, we are all obviously doing something wrong.

Try doing it differently for a change. Open your eyes to the little things that make people what they are and it could mean the difference between relationship status and staying single and bitter.

Happy Monday to all! 

The Good, the Bad and the Unusual: Random Weekend Trivia

I was browsing the internet in anticipation for someone to text me with plans for tonight- trying to get my daily dose of world news and celebrity gossip equally- when I began thinking of a potential blog post. I opened up four tabs on Google Chrome and got my search game on. I found all this cool stuff that I wanted to post, including some fun things that happened this month in history. Pretty interesting. Oh, and if you have not checked out my latest addition, “Calendar,” on the Homepage, take a quick look when you are done. It is a work in progress, as everything in life tends to be.

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Fact of Ha! In Your Face Ciggie Critics: 60% of non-smoking women have had no sexual partners in the past year, while 70% of women who smoke have had more than four lovers over the same timescale.

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Pop Quiz: Which was the first-ever music video by a black artist to be aired on MTV?

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[This weekend in history] November 19, 1620: The Pilgrims have reached Cape Cod, Massachusetts after spending over two months at sea from England. I could not leave this out considering Thanksgiving is next Thursday (and because I wanted to brag about what I learned in my entry-level, mandatory college history course). Their ship, the Mayflower actually landed in December, leaving most immigrants to die due to harsh winter climates and starvation (46 of 121 were lost). They were aided by the help of the Wampanoag Indians, whom the English settlers would eventually feast with the following year in June for three straight days. I am calling for a Thanksgiving reform: present day Turkey Day should be a three-day feast! All in favor say “I!”

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Crazy and sad celebrity death #1: Tennessee Williams

“A Streetcar Named Desire” may have been amongst the books and plays I stupidly skipped out on during high school, but playwright Tennessee Williams is a legend. Unfortunately in 1983,  he choked on the cap from his bottle of eye drops as his head was tilted back inserting the drops. Ouch and wow.

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Fact of Hope: The average woman will have sex more than 3,000 times over the course of her reproductive years.

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[This week in history] November 19, 1954: The Garden State Parkway in New Jersey opens up the country’s very first two toll booths. The automatic collector took correct change at only 25 cents. Such facts are painful and depressing. Upon reading this my eyes were heavy with the forming of tears and there was a lump in my throat. It feels that every time I go through a $5 dollar toll and get my speed back up to 70 mph, I am slowing down again for another toll, or to “take a ticket.” I am usually in the EZ-Pass lane without an EZ-Pass, and run the risk of an accident every time I realize I need to get over four lanes because I have been too busy rocking out to music to pay any attention to the barrage of “Toll Ahead” signs. Sad fact: the George Washington Bridge is now $12 smackaroos going Northbound out of Jersey. Happy travels!

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Fact for Hos: Half of single women have sex by the third date.

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Pop Quiz #1 Answer: Michael Jackson- Billie Jean, 1983

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[This week in history] November 19, 1969: Apollo 12 astronauts take off for a second landing on the moon. Charles Conrad and Alan Bean touch base with the lunar beauty in a quest for further examination of a subjected space environment called the Ocean of Storms. Cut the cynicism already, would ya? It happened. The two astronauts spend a little under four hours walking around the Ocean of Storms, which is a section on the near side of the moon that in ancient times, believed to bring bad weather. Launched during Nixon’s presidency, the Apollo 12 was struck twice by lightning on its way through the atmosphere, and many components within the craft went temporarily offline until a little-practiced procedure was underway back at the headquarters on good ol’ Planet Earth. If taking off in a rocket to space did not give me a heart attack, this surely would.

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Crazy and sad celebrity death #2: David Carradine

The Kill Bill actor was found hanging from a rope in the closet of a Thai hotel room back in 2009. After suspicions of suicide circulated, it was later concluded that he had died due to autoerotic asphyxiation, which is a type of bondage that oftentimes includes choking (such as this case). Authorities came to this theory after finding a shoestring tied around Carradine’s penis, alongside testimony from two of his ex girlfriends who further confirmed that he enjoyed S&M style sex. However, the 72 year-old actor’s ex-wife claimed upon her own personal investigation, Carradine had been murdered. Whichever story is true, boys and girls do not let your lover tie a rope around your next and kick the chair out from under you. Your local adult store is sure to have some great, non-lethal sex toys at an affordable cost.

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Fact of Inspiration: It is possible to relieve depression through masturbation.

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Pop Quiz #2: Which diva musician was nicknamed “Mirage” in high school because she never went to class?

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Celebrity Birthdays for this weekend!

November 19th: Meg Ryan, Calvin Klein, Larry King, Jodie Foster

November 20th: Joel McHale,

November 21st: Troy Aikman, Ken Griffey Jr., Bjork, Goldie Hawn, Nicollette Sheridan

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[This weekend in history] November 19, 1895: German scientist, Wilhelm Roentgen, discovers X-rays. How damn important are X-rays? The answer: so damn important. I am a quarter German, so now is an appropriate time to feel a wee-teeny tiny microscopic percent of happiness towards Germans as this was a huge step forward in technology, and the way we treat the lives of people. Of course, German engineering is some of the best in the world and I am in fact grateful to those smartie-pants for crafting all the things I love, like BMW’s! To read more about his discovery, check out this website.

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Randie Fact: There are over 4,900 species of frogs worldwide. Scientists continue to search for new ones and estimate that more than 1,000 frog species have yet to be described.

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Love My Gays Fact: Homosexuality was listed as a mental illness with the American Psychiatric Association (APA) until 1973. It has since been removed and is now considered an orientation by the APA instead of an illness.

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Pop Quiz #2 Answer: Mariah Carey

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OMG Fact: Some female penguins are prostitutes. Yes, well, maybe they do not exchange money for a quickie but they do exchange pebbles which are necessary for proper nest-building. Penguins mate for life, but just like us promiscuous human beings, penguins will often screw around despite their committed relationships back home. The best part of it all, if the male refuses, the female penguin will kick his ass, or use tricks to get the pebbles without actually giving it up. Damn, these penguins seem to do it better than some of my own friends. Lessons learned!

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[This weekend in history] November 20, 1895: The Beatles release Anthology Vol. 1 which were three double-set CDs and a book that included two never released songs, archival footage and interviews. Anthology Vol. 1 sold 450,000 copies in the first day alone.

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Famous Last Words:

“I can’t sleep.” James M. Barrie, 1937 (author, Peter Pan)

“Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him.” John Barrymore, 1942 (American actor)

“Friends applaud, the comedy is finished.” Beethoven, 1827 (German composer)

“I must go in, the fog is rising.” Emily Dickinson, 1886 (poet)

“It’s all been very interesting.”  Lady Mary Wortley Montagu, 1762 (writer)

“Lord help my poor soul.” Edgar Allan Poe, 1849

“I love you Sarah. For all eternity, I love you.” James K. Polk, 1849 (US President)

“Moose . . . Indian . . . ” Henry David Thoreau, 1862 (writer)

“Either that wallpaper goes, or I do.” Oscar Wilde, 1900 (writer)

“Drink to me!” Pablo Picasso, 1973 (artist)

“I’m bored with it all.” Winston Churchill, 1965 (English Prime Minister)

Picasso and his gun.

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Stinky Fact: Records prove that in the year 1850 and prior, women tried to practice birth control. The most commonly used method was by mixing crocodile feces with honey and shoving it in and around a woman’s vagina. That would totally work in 2011!

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Happy Birthday month, Scorpios & Sagittarius!

Scorpios are known to be loyal and mysterious but also carry dominant traits of jealousy, obsessiveness and can be manipulating at times. The best part about Scorpios? They are wildly independent. However, friendships can be rocky because of their tendency to go from one mood extreme to another. Overall, Scorpios are intriguing and intelligent human beings with a passion for passion!

Sagittarius’ are adventure seekers and have an itch for the open road and taking risks. The great qualities of a Sagittarius include the need for truth, honesty and respect. The less-favorable traits of a Sagittarius are that they are often fickle and move quickly from one thing to another, as well as people.

Does it not seem that all Zodiac character traits in some way or another, contradict themselves? Well, it is fun to read, so I guess that is all that matters.

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Speaking of Scorpios, Ryan Gosling (aka the most beautiful man in Hollywood) is one. Happy Birthday Ryan. I love you- too much.

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Happy weekend, my friends! Until Monday. C’est La Vie!

*Big ups to: astrology.com, listverse.com, corsinet.com, lustability.com, famousbirthdays.com for the good reads and factoids that I have used here today in part of making this blog post.